Ryan-isms....

The girl is a hoot, that's for sure.

Me: Ryan, please come sit down for dinner
R: Okay, one minute
Me: Dinner is on the table, back away from Dora
R: Okay, one minute
finally sits down, takes one bite and says:
R: No thanks mom, my belly is full, thanks for trying though

Ryan spotted one of our wedding photos the other night and makes a big gasp and says "mom, you're a princess"
seriously? you can have whatever you want kid...for all eternity

You may start to notice a theme with my cooking here, but keep your comments to themselves please. As Ryan sat down to a nicely prepared meal of pork chops, carrots and potatoes*, she tries one bite and says ever so politely "mom, this is not my favorite"
*3 dishes people, three effing dishes! The Stiff clan is used to one entree, maybe a side on a good night but three, three courses, that is gold my friend and unfortunately this evening it, quite frankly, blew. So off we went to Ted Drewes for some damage control.

Ryan is a fantastic negotiator and the queen of stall-tactics. ANYTHING you say is countered with a more favorable option in her opinion. Future lawyer or lobbyist in the making.
Me: One more slide Ryan and then we're going home
R: Five more slides mom, then we leave

Me: One more book and then bedtime
R: Two more books mom, two more (accompanied by the holding up and waving of two fingers in my face)

Me: Here is a lovely snack of raisins before we eat dinner
R: Mom, let's have a Popsicle, then dinner, then raisins

On the subject of Popsicles.....Ryan can also tell you the difference between a snack and a treat. Don't you dare confuse the two. Crackers, gold fish, raisins, cheese......all SNACKS. Popsicles, ice cream, snow cones....all TREATS. Heaven forbid you offer a snack after you have said 'treat'.

You know you're about to be used when the little lady says "come here, I want to tell you something really special" --- let the warning sirens ring b/c you are about to encounter the cutest of all stall tactics.  After you have read ONE book, tucked her in, placed and kissed all 15 stuffed animals on her bed and are halfway out the door this little, angelic voice says "mom, come here, I want to tell you something special".  The first few times you fall for it (you're only human after all) you wander back in, she comes up with something adorable like "mom, I love you, you're my best friend, read me two more books" and that my friends is how a 34 year old, college educated woman gets totally played by an almost-three-year-old.